Aside from love, there is one element in a relationship that is so important that it can change the depth of your relationship with your guy – communication. When you take the time to communicate with your man, you strengthen your relationship, let him know he’s important… and finally get your point across.
Say what you mean
Avoid passive aggressive tactics at all times, they’re confusing to anyone and make you look weak. For example, if you are trying to communicate to your man that you want him to be the one to call you first to make plans, don’t disappear and stop calling him to force him into being the one to make the first move all just to make a point. All he will take away from that maneuver is that you don’t want to see him – and guess what, you won’t. Instead, say exactly what you mean, in a little method that I like to call the “compliment sandwich.”
A compliment sandwich is made when you slide in what you want your man to know in between two compliments. For a revision on the above example, try: I love it when we go out together and try new things. It would be really special to me if our next adventure was your initiative, and you just called me up and had it planned out. You always plan things I like, and no matter what we do we always have fun.
See? He feels good, you conveyed your point. Everyone goes home a winner.
Say what you need to say, but make it quick.
If you bury your point under piles of justifications, jokes or entry points to butter him up, you’ll lose his attention and your point will become muddled, lost in a sea of words. Don’t worry that you will come across as too blunt, men communicate very concisely naturally, so he will appreciate you for it. One of the more difficult but finer points of being a great girlfriend is knowing when you need to butter your man up to tell him something you’re not sure will go over well, and when to just let him hear it.
One of the most important things that you can do for anyone, let alone the man in your life, is be there to listen. Always remember: when it doubt, hear him out.
At the very least, whether you agree with him or not, he will feel better that he got to say what he wanted to say, and you will have a better understanding of what he needs. Most conflicts, or any heated discussion, could easily be diffused simply by listening.
In times of peace listening is also a winning option, because he’ll appreciate that he can express himself to you without getting an earful of advice or judgement back. You might also learn a lot of new things about him that you didn’t know before.
Talk with your eyes
Men are very visual, so sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back and just let your eyes do the talking. If you avoid his gaze completely you will appear uncomfortable, unconfident, or like you’re not interested. None of those are the pinnacle of sexy.
Keep eye contact with your man, a soft gaze or a sultry stare, whatever you need to communicate. You’ll be surprised as to how much you can say without saying anything at all.
Know when to give him space
I read once that the key to a great relationship is learning how to find the distance between two people – and my own life experiences have proven this sentiment true time and time again. Know when to give him space, he’ll love you for it. And if he doesn’t want the space, he’ll come to you. Either way, you learn to balance the necessary distance, retain your sanity, and expand your love even more. What’s not to love there?
What do you think?
What are your favorite ways to communicate with your man? Share with us in the comments section below!