Paceville is a small area in Malta that consists of a couple of streets lined with bars and clubs, all with free entrance unless it’s a private event or adult club. Not only do all the teens and young adults between the ages of 14-25-ish spend many an evening at one of the bars, so do many students who come to Malta for the summer to learn English and to increase their alcohol tolerance levels. The following is a how to guide for surviving a night out in Paceville based on a couple of my own experiences:
7pm- Start fretting about what you are going to wear. It might still be a bit breezy outside, so maybe take a blazer? But that’s pretty pointless/extra once you get to a club- so proceed by taking it off and risk catching a cold until you arrive on the dance floor.
9.30pm- Bum lift down with a best friend who drives because everywhere in Malta is close, and proceed to waste ½ hour to find a parking place that a) isn’t miles away b) doesn’t have parking time restrictions and c) is actually a parking space.
10pm- Depending on your mood you have a couple of choices. These are my usual options: Bar Native for cocktail pitchers to relax and start the night by bonding. Anvil Pub, if you’re up for some relaxed drinking but in a very social area, or finally De Olde Keg if you’re into rock music and want to have a couple of cigarettes and a few plastic cups of wine/beer in the back while discussing the Star Wars release on Bluray.
11.30pm- Decide that the alcohol you consumed is not enough, even though you split 3 bottles of wine between 5 people. Proceed to getting 1 Euro tequila shots.
Midnight- Notice that you started chatting to some guys you didn’t know, but you somehow bonded with, when a very creepy guy decided to start yelling at your table for some odd random crazy reason. Proceed to having another drink to seal the new friendship.
1am- After discussing the latest political news- such as Malta’s result of the divorce referendum; decide that you are now prepared to get your booties on the dance floor.
1.15am- Stop at Coconut Bar because you love the song they are playing inside.
1.25am- Stop outside Burger King because half the group wants to use the bathroom there.
1.27am- Pray that the queue of 4 people before you in the bathroom HURRY UP!!!
1.40am- After the entire gang is back sans the two new guys who seemed to have gone ‘missing’, continue to Nordic Bar where in 20 minutes all the classic rock songs and pop songs are about to hit the DJs turntable.
1.45am- Wonder why you came to Nordic Bar because it always so crammed and stuffy.
1.46am- Answer your own question with: because they have the best music, people and drinks.
2.15am- Dancing and singing (read: yelling) wildly to the song ‘I will walk 500 miles’ of the Proclaimers because it brings back memories of bonnie Scotland.
2.16am- While yelling to the song, start dancing with two very sexy guys who seem to give the impression that they are always in suits. They probably watched one too many episodes of How I Met your Mother- true story.
2.45am- After buying a beer because you physically can’t sing/yell any more lyrics of Bon Jovi because you are so thirsty, realize that perhaps you should start heading back home, especially since the two guys in suits who you and your friends secretly nicknamed ‘Escort’ and ‘Stripper’ have said their goodbyes WITHOUT GIVING YOU THEIR NAMES.
2.47am- Alice Cooper’s ‘Poison’ is on. Just this song I swear.
2.50am- Wheatus’ ‘Teenage Dirtbag’ is on… we have to stay.
2.54am- Request ‘Don’t stop believing’ of Journey..and wait until they play it.
3.01am- Start Gleeking out when the song begins.
3.10am- Begin the journey back to the car.
3.11am-Stop for those delicious crepes of Chequers.
3.30am- Arrive at car with shoes in hand.
3.45am- Fall in your bed and decide that that was the most epic night ever.
3.46am- Remember to check Facebook TOMORROW for Escort and Stripper.
4.15am- Find a picture of them on Bus62.com but realize they aren’t tagged.
4.45am- After searching the Facebook friends of people you think may know Escort and Stripper, find out their names. Muffle giggles in pillow.
4.45am- Message your best friends to tell them you found out their names- but forget to add the names to the message.
4.47am- Fall asleep with mobile in hand and recieve a message asking ‘WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES?!?’
What Do You Think?
What is your typical Saturday night? Or do you and your friends usually go out clubbing on a different night? Leave us a comment and let us know!