How To…Deal With Unruly Roommates

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Living on campus or with a group of your close friends sounds great at the beginning. Being able to live on your own without your parents and becoming a “grown up” is the ultimate dream of most college students. There are instances where a bad roommate situation could occur and there are certain ways you should deal with the following issue:

1. Don’t expect to be best friends:A lot of people go into the situation thinking that they will become best friends with their future roommates or become closer to their already friends. This isn’t the case…only the luck few get this dream. It’s like saying your going to marry the first guy you fell in love with…it’s just unrealistic.

2. Try Talking: Have an open conversation with your evil roommate may sound terrible at first but it could help the situation. Just let her/him know that what they are doing is bothering you whether it’s their boyfriend/girlfriend spending endless hours in the room….even when they aren’t there or you find your favorite bag of chips keeps disappearing. Having a conversation about the issue could potentially resolve the problem or at least let them know what is bothering you. Being stuck in a small room or apartment with someone that bothers you is the worst thing ever. You feel like your walking on eggshells.

3. Reach an agreement: Maybe your having problems with them not cleaning after themselves in the room or you’re the one always stuck with bringing the trash out. Let them know you should trade off on the household chores and that you don’t think it’s fair. Maybe be like “Hey starting Sunday we can have a new beginning,” and hopefully you will see the change. Being vocal is key.

Reach an agreement, shake, and move on. photo credit

4. Ignore them and do your own thing: People can tell when your upset with them especially a roommate. Now this may not be the best alternative but it will allow you to feel less stressed out. Do you!

5. Go out: Your room or house should be your home away from home. Just try and go out and meet more people. You’d be surprised that there are other people out there that might be dealing with the same situation. Maybe your best friend is lonely in her single? Just join up. But don’t move in!

6. Move Out:Sometimes friends just cannot live with each other. See if there is another place you can stay or move into.

Dealing with roommates is all situational…but the most important thing is communication. Keep those lines open just in case something occurs. Who knows you might need that awful roomie if you ever get into trouble? It’s better than calling mom or dad.

What Do You Think?

Have you had roommate troubles in the past? How did you deal with it?

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8 Comments
  1. twin xl twin xl says:

    Definitely should think twice before rooming with your best friend. Yes, they may be your best friend but you guys probably have some differences and I would hate to have that come between your friendship.

  2. I really did not get along with my first roommate. She would go home for the weekends and leave smelly food like fish in the refrigerator for weeks and never take out the trash. At first, I didn’t tell her how upset I was and I held it against her. Finally, I decided to confront the situation. I called her one day and told her that the fridge smelled and would she mind cleaning it out. She didn’t care at all and was totally nice about it! Same with the trash. One day we were both in the room and I told her I was going to the trashroom and did she want to come with me? She agreed to come and help. It was great! Things went a lot better after I learned to speak up.

  3. Jules Jules says:

    I hated my first roommate. It felt like she was just out to be my enemy! She accused me of having a crush on the same guy as her (despite the fact that my boyfriend of two years lived in the neighboring res hall). She stole my food frequently, and even when she asked to “have a few crackers,” she would eat almost the whole box. I once came home to a grand total of TWO crackers in the box that was nearly full when I left. She wanted to have some guy she knew on the internet for a week come and stay in our room, and she didn’t really ask but rather implied that I would be out of the room all day so she could…well, you know. That didn’t go down. It was so stressful to make her NOT bring him up there, though, because it was two weeks before finals! I was busy! She asked our RA multiple times to tell me to sleep somewhere else for the night when she was mad at me (I paid for the room too! I’m not about to be kicked out just because you want a single!). The last night I spent in my room: I was going to spend some time at the cafe with my friends and she asked how long I would be out, and I said not long. I come back less than a half an hour later to grab my water bottle and she’s shirtless in front of her computer! With her creepy internet boyfriend of course. I left without saying anything and she called me back and tried to tell me she was getting ready to take a shower. Obviously not… She had done things to other people on the floor too, basically making everyone in the hall hate her. She posted passive aggressive notes in the bathrooms and wrote mean facebook statuses about how she hated living here. She talked behind people’s backs all the time. She would complain about MY friends to ME! That was kind of awkward. I defended them most of the time, and the rest of the time I would just ignore her.

    Surprisingly, neither of us moved out the whole year. I’d like to think I was pretty civil to her. I never really got in her face about anything except for the internet guy coming over. I hate conflict, so I truly tried to be nice to her, and when I couldn’t say anything nice, I would put on my headphones and study. I did confront her about eating my food a few times, and she apologized, but it never changed. Toward the end of the year, she tried to be my best friend. I think she was going through the crisis that she thought she was SUPPOSED to be best friends with her roommate. I gladly accepted her friendship, but after we moved out I stopped talking to her because she annoyed me. I got by when I realized that I didn’t have to retaliate, that I had to treat her the way I would want to be treated. I also channeled whatever angry energy I had into a walk to the library and whatever homework or studying I had. You just have to treat each other like human beings and when it’s over, you’ll realize it was an experience you’ll never have again. And you’ll be really, really happy.

  4. Kayla Kayla says:

    I agree that communication is key. If there are problems, it’s best to address them early on before they get out of hand.

  5. Sarah Sarah says:

    Could you please proof read your posts more carefully before you post? Your is not the same as you’re. Love the content!

  6. Lanee Lanee says:

    I’m having trouble with my roomate we’ve only been here a week and she has got into the habit of waking me up very early with her like around 8(my classes aren’t until 12). I didn’t mind when I didn’t have class but now that I do it’s annoying and inconvient to be up an or or two and a half before my alarm even goes off. For example yesterday her alarm went off at 7 am waking me up she looked at me for a while and asked me if my eyes were open and when I said that they were (because her alarm had just startled me!) she got on the phone and started talking then she throws open her drawers grabs an outfit opens up the blinds and turns on a light it was totally rude. She then ask me if her friend could come into the room or if I would rather she stay in the living room and I told her her friend would need to stay in the living room because I was trying to sleep rather than listening she invites her friend inside anyways and they begin whispering it was very rude. I tried later to discuss it with her more than once the first and second time she blew it off and the third time I made it very clear that it was not debateable and I was serious and she said she refused to change for me and that she has been “accomadating” me which was total bs as she is never at our suite and now we have an appt scheduled with our CSA (person who overseas our building and handles disputes and such) so that we can come to a compromise. I refuse to compromise my sleep however that is non-negotiable my roommate is already coming in at 12 a.m. in the first place. What do you think?

  7. Hannah Hannah says:

    I have a housemate that leaves unnesessary passive agressive notes all over the house. Personally, im too scared to confront her, so i’m just hoping she’ll move out soon when the lease needs to be renewed!

  8. Lauren Lauren says:

    This is a very relevant topic because it seemed that almost every person I talked to had some issue with their roommate. Amazingly, though, my freshman year I was in a forced triple but we all got along really well. We were the total exception because we did everything together. This year, we all went out separate ways to meet new people and the four people I live with this year are also really great. I have honestly been so lucky to be with such great people both years considering everyone else seems to have problems. These are good tips though because my friends that did have problems followed a lot of these steps and were able to work out their problems or at least be civil with their roommates.

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