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You watch it on movies, you read it in books, you see it on TV shows, and you’re told to avoid it at all costs. The LDR, long distance relationship, is more or less frowned upon by basically anyone. College is the opportune time for a long distance relationship to either flourish or be flushed down the drain. But if you do find yourself in a long distance relationship, here’s some things you can do to help keep things going smoothly.

 

First off, you must understand that your long distance significant other’s schedule cannot revolve around yours. He is going to be experiencing college the same way you are. He is going to be learning new things, meeting new people, and experiencing all kinds of things that he’s never even thought of before. You have to give him time to do these things on his own. Just because you aren’t there doesn’t mean that he has to plan his entire day, week, and month around what you want him to be doing. It’s not fair to him that you have time to talk when he’s going to watch a game with his new friends.

Second off, it’s not fair to you for him to blow you off. He may not be able to talk between your class breaks, but he can sure enough set some time aside to chat with you. He also needs to allow you to experience college as well. You’ll be doing all kinds of new things as well, and if he’s not allowing you to do those things then that may be a sign of a control issue, which opens an entirely new can of worms.

Maintaining balanced communication is extremely important. Each of you has to put effort towards communicating and making things work. There are plenty of ways to make communicating and talking to each other easier. Skype is a great tool and is very useful when it comes to long distance relationships. It gives you the chance to actually see who you’re talking to. Because of this, you can both include each other in a lot of aspects of your new lives, such as showing each other your dorm rooms or other things. If you can’t use Skype, there’s always the classic phone call. It can be really comforting to hear each other’s voices. And of course, there’s text messaging which can be done throughout the day. Be careful not to rely on text messaging though. Short texts here and there are fine, but don’t try to have every conversation over text messaging.

Calling and texting your man are perfect ways to include him. But on a night out with the girls, it’s completely fine to leave him at home. You can tell him that you’re going out but leave him assured that there is nothing to worry about. When you do go out then, don’t drunk text him every 30 seconds. There’s nothing that will worry him more than you belligerently texting him. So while you’re getting ready, let him know that you and the girls are going to happy hour and tell him you’ll give him a call later. He’ll appreciate your call later more than he’d appreciate constant drunk texts.

Everyone likes surprises and there’s nothing wrong with sending a little surprise his way every so often. Obviously we’re all on a college budget, so it doesn’t have to be anything crazy. Sending him a little care package of his favorite candy or a “Thinking of You” card is sure to make his day. It’ll show him that you care about him and are still thinking about him. In turn, you’ll make him feel better about the distance and this could make things a lot easier in the long run for you as a couple.

 

Long distance relationships are tough, there’s no doubt about that. But there are small things you can do to make sure he knows you’re thinking of him and that you care. Just keep in mind that school is more important than any boy. You are paying and going to college to get an education and a degree. If you’re relationship is taking away from your studies, you may want to re-evaluate how important you think that relationship is. The LDR isn’t necessarily as dreaded as it seems though, especially when that relationship is worth fighting for.

 

 

What do you think?

What do you think about long distance relationships? Have you ever been involved in one, or would you ever get involved with one? Leave your comments in the section below!

Lauren Author: Lauren

More Every College Girl

4 Comments

  1. ruska ruska says:

    you’ve left out one of the best methods of communicating with someone special: letter-writing. it may feel old-fashioned, but a letter is always much more personal than a text message. from your choice of writing paper to your own, unique handwriting, it’s more you than pixels on the screen of your so’s phone. but the thing with letters is that you can take your time to think about what you want to put on the paper, and you don’t write about what your day has been like, you write about your hopes and dreams, your feelings and fears, about things you might not talk about much over the phone or in short messages. and getting a letter from your loved one is one of the best things imaginable when you can’t see each other. get warm and comfortable and enjoy reading what your so writes to you. a letter is also something you can keep and read again when you’re feeling especially sad and lonely. it can bring a smile to your face and warmth and light into your heart every time. my boyfriend and I live in different countries, so I should know about separation.

  2. Renay Renay says:

    My boyfriend and I aren’t very far from each other but we do go to separate colleges. I’m a sophomore and he’s a freshman. Because this is his first year, he’s making a bunch of new friends…all girl friends. I want him to tell me things but its frustrating to hear about him going to dinner and breakfast with girls girls girls. I dont know how I should be reacting or if I should just relax a little more. Also, we’ve been fighting a lot because it seems to me like things are changing. For example he doesnt respond to a lot of my txts as much and when I call him we never talk for that long. It just seems like he used to be so much more caring and now he just doesnt care as much. I’m always bringing issues up because I want to fix them, but it gets annoying to him because it seems as if i’m never happy when in reality I just want things to get better. I’m not sure if I need to rethink my reaction to things or if he’s the one that needs to change.

  3. Lauren Lauren says:

    Rebeka, thanks for commenting! For my boyfriend & myself, he’s currently deployed overseas because he’s in the Army. I totally understand your guy being protective. My suggestion, if at all possible, enroll in a self-defense class. I know it may sound kind of silly, but you can learn a lot of really beneficial and potentially life saving things. Then, not only will you know how to protect yourself, but also your man will have the peace of mind that you at lease know how to defend yourself. Also, sporting good stores (ex. Dunhams) have mace and stuff like that. They make them so you can put them on your key ring if you need to. Hope my suggestions help!!

  4. Rebeka Rebeka says:

    While my boyfriend and I aren’t really going to college, our relationship will become long distance in a few months, and this article makes me feel slightly less stressed about it. I know it’s going to be tough for us, because instead of living on the opposite sides of town, we’ll be loving on opposite coasts, however, our schedules might sync up enough to chat every now and then.

    One question remains though: how would you suggest placating a protective boyfriend? And I don’t mean possessive, or over protective, but one that worries about your safety when you’re around strangers, especially if there’s been cause for concern in the past.

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