Differential calculus! Roland Barthes! Pedagogical theory! Okay, now that I have your attention, let’s talk about sex. When it comes to the things you learn in college, academics is just one area. Sex is a whole new world. And let’s face it, sex is fun. Sex is really fun. And when you find something that can make sex even more fun? Well that’s just icing on the humorously shaped cake. That’s where The Sex Challenge app comes in.
I am such a huge fan of this talking condom. I’m going to call him Winston.
The concept for The Sex Challenge is kind of genius. It’s basically gamifying your sex life. First there was Fitocracy, then there was Habitica, now there’s The Sex Challenge.
Now, let’s be clear, Every College Girl is not and never will be advocating for anything illegal or remotely nonconsensual. But between consenting adults (and we are adults now) we say there’s nothing wrong with getting naked and going to town. Let’s not let some patriarchal nonsense make us ashamed of healthy libidos. So if you and a partner are feeling a little too vanilla, The Sex Challenge could be for you.
So, how does it work? It’s very simple. You decide how crazy you want to get, there are four levels including two that keep you in your own home to minimize the chance of scandalizing passerby. Initially it only lets you do level one and a three round game. So I reached out to Significant Other and we agreed to give it a go. Oh the things I do for you, dear readers. I work hard. I suffer.
Once fun had been had by all, an adorable little dancing condom pops up and celebrates our success. “Oh just you wait, happy condom,” I think, “There will be much celebration to be done.” I also earn my first badge, the Cherry Popper! The app lets you earn badges as you complete different goals. So you get to have sex, and then you get an award. Life just gets better and better!
After you complete three grinds on the easy level, you level up. I’m a Diddler! Grinds are basically sexy challenges and at first range from baby oil massages to happy naked times on the couch. Grinds can even include tips for making things extra fun. And yes, don’t worry, Winston the happy dancing condom is always there to give you a high five for gettin’ some.
So the first game is free, three grinds on easy. To unlock the serious naughtiness, you have to buy the app for $3, super cheap when you compare it to the average cost of toys meant to spice up the marital monotony. I was excited to check out the higher levels. I take some pride in the weird places I’ve been nekkid (a teepee!) so I was pretty sure I was going to be up to challenge. So I tapped on “Let’s Get Crazy” and a little warning not to do anything illegal popped up. Always good advice, really, for anyone. So I agreed not to do anything illegal in the name of hoochie koochie. And what grind popped up? That, my friends, is between me, my significant other, and the people who will remain blissfully ignorant of what happened in the next room.
And it’s that simple. You play games by completing grinds, you get badges for different grinds, and you level up by beating games. You can even use Snapchat to show off the badges and levels you’ve earned to the friends who laughed at you last time everyone got drunk and played Never Have I Ever. You know you’re a sex goddess, now you can let everyone else know too!
Now I’m not totally without reservations. The gender options are binary although it does allow same sex couples to play. One grind popped up that SO and I weren’t comfortable with and there wasn’t an obvious way to skip it, although we just lied and said we’d completed the grind and it moved right along. There also doesn’t seem to be a mode for single girls with healthy sex drives or polyamorous folks with multiple committed partners. But the whole wiping the record clean makes a lot of sense for keeping exactly what you did with your previous partner away from the eyes of your current one.
All in all, I’d say The Sex Challenge is a great app for the open minded and an entertaining way to spice up any bedroom feeling a bit bland. It’s not for everyone, but for couples who are sex positive and proud, it’s a metric ton of fun.
Where to get it