My fellow college girls,

What if I was to tell you that the secret to finding the perfect guy really has nothing to do with the guy – what kind of job he wants, what kind of humor he has, what he looks like, or how he treats his mom. What if I was to tell you that the secret to finding that perfect guy for you is, in fact, you?

As college girls we’ve been through our share of relationships, both the good and the bad, and each relationship has served a purpose in that it has helped us to grow, learn about ourselves, and learn how to give and receive love. From long-term to short flings, every relationship  at least served the purpose of teaching you what you don’t admire, either in yourself or in another. All of those realizations are equally valuable on your path. And as your road winds on, leading you down a path of self discovery, you may find that “others” you meet along your way will begin to feel like “another.”

The secret? To find your perfect match, you must first find yourself.

The journey itself is the process. The type of guys you have dated over the years combined with your own place in those relationships reflect where you are in your life, what you want, what you value. As your mature, your relationships will follow suit.

And it’s ok! Wherever you are is exactly where you need to be.

Often we get stuck in cycles of bad or destructive relationships, and it’s easy to blame the guy and say that he’s had a bad past, or that he doesn’t know how to love, or that he doesn’t know how to treat a woman. That’s not fair. We are all on our own journey, all connected by the universal forces of compassion and suffering, and we are all equally worthy of love. Cycles denote that we are simply not done learning the lesson.

Empower yourself with your own mantra.

Always remember, and say to yourself when you need that extra boost of self-empowerment: “I am strong because I know my weaknesses. I am beautiful because I am aware of my flaws. I am fearless because I learned to recognize illusion from real. I am wise because I learn from my mistakes. I am a lover because I have felt hate. I can laugh because I have known sadness.”

Soul searching and accepting yourself as You are is the secret – not only to love, but to life. Because in accepting You, you accept all others. Doing the leg work of soul searching can seem intimidating at times, and it’s by no means an easy process. But it’s a process, it’s life, and you make of it your own adventure.

What do you think?

What is the best relationship advice someone has ever given you? Share your own relationship and self-empowerment stories in the comments section below.

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