Real Awkward

This particular article is a tribute to Every College Girl out there, myself included, and the constant struggles we tend to face. Whether it’s being ignored by a hook up on campus or making a fool out of yourself in class, these daily encounters are what keep our lives from ever being dull. Those awkward/ridiculous moments bring all of us together. This article is a collection of actual events sent in by our readers. Please take a moment to sit back and enjoy the embarrassing moments we all know and love.

Road Kill

Sophomore year I was invited to a fraternity date party with my sorority sisters. The night was golfed theme and involved a bar crawl. Let’s just say we went all out for the theme. Around 1 AM, we were all incredibly drunk in our golf attire walking to the third bar when I ran ahead of my date and crossed the street. Standing on the opposite side of the main street I began to taunt him so he would cross the street and we could get to the next bar together. I was very persistent with this tactic. He jokingly got into a runners stance and began sprinting towards me, not really looking at all to see if a car was approaching. Halfway across he got hit by a Ford van. Luckily his injuries were minor, but to make things worse instead of taking him to the hospital I made him go to the next bar and drink…

Bathroom Explorer

I was on vacation in the Florida Keys with a few close friends. We were eating dinner at this outdoor restaurant right along the beach. Out of nowhere stomach problems struck… so I excused myself from the table and bolted to the bathroom. And by bathroom I mean a disgusting little outhouse. After I did my thing, I realized the toilet was clogged and to top it all off there was a huge line of people waiting outside to use this “bathroom”. I was too embarrassed to leave. My greatest fear was being known as the girl who destroyed the toilet. I had planned to wait it out in the revolting little hut until I heard familiar voices. Two of my friends were waiting in line and complaining about how people are taking so long in the bathroom. They clearly had no intention of leaving the line. So what did I do? I climbed out of the window. Mind you the window was TINY. My first escape attempt failed miserably, as I fell back and hit my head on top of the window leaving a solid bruise on my face. The second time I did make it through but scratched my entire back in the process. I casually strolled back to the table and tried to act like nothing happened. Thankfully my friends didn’t even notice my absence and to this day have no idea what really happened.

Chest Issues

I was twelve years old at a friend’s birthday party and my entire grade was present, the event of the year one could say. I happened to be on the trampoline with this cute boy in my class. We were playfully wrestling and things were getting a little flirtatious (as they did at that age). Suddenly, another boy also on the trampoline tugged at my dress and ended up pulling the fabric all the way down to the bottom of my ankles. Note this was the time period right before I started wearing bras. So everyone saw everything. I sprinted as fast as I could to my dad’s car so I could cry in peace. My dad finally came to the car and his idea of comforting me was saying, “It’s not like there was anything for them to see.”

Reversed Resolutions

I was out with my boyfriend at the time celebrating the glorious occasion known as New Years Eve. We partied hopped with a bunch of friends and I lost track of how many shots I had taken. A couple of hours later, I was sprawled out on the bathroom floor crying because I couldn’t pull up my tights. My boyfriend’s friend saw this spectacle and went to get him to “rescue me” so to speak. My boyfriend rushed over and struggled with me for several minutes trying to untangle the knot of tights, shorts, and underwear. Eventually, we ended up getting the tights half way up my thighs and hiding the knot of clothing with my shirt. I just remember the night ending in my boyfriend’s home as I was being taken care of by his mother… She was petting my hair while holding a trashcan on my lap as I hysterically sobbed. To make this even better my boyfriend commented on how I definitely had a lot salad for dinner. It was excruciating and the first time I threw up because of drinking too much.

The Hockey Hunter

My best friend and I had an unforgettable night in the woods and two boys on the hockey team happened to be involved. The day after our adventure we really didn’t want to have an embarrassing run in with them. Unfortunately, the fact we attend a small school makes awkward encounters unavoidable. Yet we truly believed we could get away without running into them. The two of us were peacefully eating dinner in one of the two dining halls on campus when a close guy friend of ours comes to the table to say hello. We both stopped eating and that’s when we knew. If my friend was in dining hall, sure enough the others would be joining. Hockey teams are like that, extremely close, always traveling in packs. As they trickle into the dining hall, one by one, both of our faces burned bright red knowing what was about to happen. Finally, our friend bursts into laughter as the two woodland memories strut into the dining hall. Of course neither of them acknowledged our presence, but everyone else (including their teammates) laughed at the obvious sexual tension in the room. Another thing about small schools, word tends to travel fast. You tell one person something and then somehow the entire campus knows. With the hockey squad, they tell each other everything so sure enough the whole team knew about our little adventure. My friend asked, “Why don’t you just say hi?”

That hardly seemed any less awkward, so we went on. Eating. Cringing. Holding back our tears, until finally we marched our second walk of shame out the door leaving the tension behind. Not to mention feeling the entire team scaring at us as the two basically ran to the exit. From then on I learned my lesson and became the girl who no longer conversed privately with members on the hockey team.

Stranger On The Shuttle

I went to a huge school freshman year. It was so big that we had to take a shuttle to travel from one side of campus to the other. I was sitting on the shuttle minding my own business when this guy sitting next to me started chatting me up. I wasn’t in that kind of mood but he clearly was so we talked for the entire ride. I didn’t want to be rude so I responded to all of his questions. The both us happened to get off at the same stop and he surprisingly asked for my number. I was caught off guard because I really wasn’t into him like that but then thought hey why not. So I gave him my number and sure enough he texted me later that night. He wanted to hang out on Friday. I agreed, yet again didn’t want to be rude. The next day I was back on the downtown campus waiting for the shuttle for what seemed like an eternity. This time there were so many people! The line was out of control. All of sudden I hear a familiar voice coming from a few spots ahead. It was the same guy from last time. He was talking to his friend about me! He said, “Yeah I met this girl. I really like her and we are hanging out on Friday. She’s really cute.” His friend asked if it was a date. And he said he hopes so. This was so awkward because I wasn’t into him like that. Plus it’s so weird hearing someone talk about you. I hide in the shadows until finally the shuttle came. He didn’t see me thank god. We ended up hanging out on Friday but he was way too aggressive so things didn’t work out. Let’s just say I stayed away from shuttles after that.

Car Cuddling Gone Wrong

I was hanging out with my close friend from home and our mutual guy friend the night before leaving to study abroad. This guy and I have hooked up a few times but my friend didn’t know this. We wanted to be alone but I didn’t want to ditch my friend on my last night in the States. So my guy suggested we all go for a drive and smoke. As the three of us sat in my car, he started to massage my leg as my friend sat in the back chatting it up. Completely clueless as to what was happening. I had no idea what to do. I tensed up and tried to signal at him with my eyes to stop. He took this as an invitation to keep it up and things just got even more intense. My friend continued to keep talking with me from the back seat, saying how much she’s going to miss me and how excited I must be to go abroad. Let’s just say my mind was on other things. It was the most awkward car ride of my life. Finally, we dropped my friend off at her house and then had our alone time. Sadly I still can’t ride in the car with these two friends without reliving the situation and she still doesn’t know about what really happened.

Dancing Machine

I was stuck in rush hour on the way home from work. My way to deal with this horrible occurrence is blasting music and jamming in my car. I always put my windows up right before so no one can judge my ridiculous music selection. I initiated the jam session by blasting a song (along the lines of either Taylor Swift, Whitney Houston, or a catchy Glee song) and went at it in the car. I had already been stuck in traffic for about thirty minutes so I had a good amount of pent up frustration to release. I am a casual car dancer but this time I went a little harder then usual. I was dancing the way you dance when you are alone in your room where NO ONE is watching. After a couple of minutes, I happened to shimmy to the right and witness the girls in the car next to me video taping the whole scene… I was mortified. And because I was stuck in traffic I had to sit silently next to them while they were laughing hysterically and sending the clip to all of their friends. Now I think before I dance… for the most part anyways.

The European Disaster

I was sixteen and met up with my best friend from elementary school. That weekend their happened to be an elementary school reunion at one of the pubs downtown so we decided to go together. She lived closer to the pub so I planned to stay over at her place. Before leaving, we were able to get our hands on some cheap champagne and beer. After a good amount of chugging, the two of us made our exit to the pub where we preceded to take some shots with everyone from our school. After celebrating the reunion, she and I went to another pub to continue our little adventure. The next thing I remember is I waking up in my friend’s sister’s bed. I had no idea how I had gotten there. I couldn’t find my wallet, keys, or pants. I started freaking out but then my friend woke up and told me exactly what happened. My friend had carried me on her back from the pub to her house because I couldn’t walk, that’s how drunk I was. Her mother was waiting for us at the door. She was furious because we missed our curfew and were so drunk (not to mention we were sixteen). While her mother was yelling at us, I threw up on the doormat and pretty much passed out leaning on her front door. I was so embarrassed that I immediately left her house after hearing this and didn’t go back for over a year! To this day this was the most embarrassing moment of my life. Now her mother and I have had a beer together and laughed about it. But that night still haunts me.

These stories are just a few examples of what Every College Girl has experienced. A life without encounters and experiences such as these is pretty boring. These moments create friendships, add to your list of romantic entanglements, document incredible nights out, and keep our egos in the right place. At the end of the day, encounters such as the ones described keep us level headed and let us laugh instead of always being stressed out. Thank you for the submissions and can’t wait for the next ones!