From A Male’s Perspective

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            Every college girl has her own perception and opinions when it comes to the social atmosphere on campus and the night gatherings that the student body openly flocks too. But the real question on our minds is what does every college boy think? ECG decided to decode some of the assumptions and stereotypes that surround the male perception of females. I know before recording all of these responses that my personal perception on how men view some these topics was completely off. I spoke with numerous gentlemen who anonymously submitted their honest responses to each of these lingering questions. So enjoy a real and open chat with some very intriguing and authentic young men.

What do you find physically attractive?

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“Toned legs, a nice olive skin tone, great smile, firm bottom.”

“Smile and eyes.”

large-14“Lips because of what they symbolize; the lips are how you find your way to someone’s body and soul. The lips are where words come from and how you get swept off your feet.”

“A girls eyes, tan skin, and a nice smile.”

“My number one is eyes. I am a very outgoing person so eyes are the first thing I go for (if the girl can keep eye contact, what her eyes are saying etc.). I am also a huge hair guy; the way a girl styles her hair says a lot about her.”

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“An athletic body and cute smile”

“Butts. I am from the South and the southern tradition is food coincides with a happy relationship and you can tell how well fed a woman is by her butt. And as a man I want to see a well fed woman.”

“Bottoms, Eyes, Nice chest.”

“Dark hair, green eyes, and an athletic body. Health and Fitness are very important factors regarding attractiveness.”

“A glow in her eyes, long toned legs, and a strong confident walk.”

“Natural beauty”

“Lean legs and a toned stomach as well as a pretty face.”

“Good personality and positive energy.”

“I really don’t think I have a physical type—I like brunettes, blondes, redheads, whatever. If I am being very real, I prefer girls that are real skinny but have a little bit of a donk. Freckles sometimes. A girl who cares about how she dresses and has a cool sense of style is very important to me as well.”

What do you look for in a girl’s personality?

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“Independence, strong sense of self, openness, intelligence.”

“Someone who is very kind and considerate of others feelings as well as a good sense of humor.”

“She has to make me laugh and be able to just chill.”

“Someone who thinks I am funny. And someone who disagrees with me because I enjoyed being challenged. I don’t like bubbly girls, I want someone who is charismatic and outgoing.”

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“Creative expression. Intellect is sexy but I don’t want someone who is boring and smart.”

“I look for a girl who is easy-going and not too uptight. I’m looking for someone I can laugh with most of the time but will still be able to have a serious conversation with when necessary. I’m not the most serious person and I don’t want a relationship to be like work, it should be fun.”

“Kindness, a big heart, spontaneity.”

“Fun, laidback, a sense of humor, and smart.”

“Ability to have fun and laugh, but also maturity.”

“Confidence is huge. And having a quick wit and a sense of humor. I like girls that are sweet but not too sweet. Caring about music and culture is also very important—even if we don’t have the same taste in things, the fact that she has clearly defined passions and interests is very important. But confidence and humor are my two main things.”

“Opinionated, insightful, intelligent.”

“Intelligent and laidback.

“Curiosity of the world around them, passion.

“I need quirkiness.”

What is your biggest pet peeve about girls?

“Drama.”

“When they try too hard.”

“Girls who tend not to be as a confident when they have a man. They are focused on not letting other girls talk to their man rather than enjoying the relationship.”

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“They can be huge bitches, even to their friends”

“Insanity.”

“I can’t stand stupidity. I hate ignorance. Girls who play up being ditzy is such a turnoff for me.”

“When she tries to fit in too hard with my friends. She’s not going to be one of the guys.”

“When they don’t communicate.”

“My biggest pet peeve about girls is when they complain or talk about other girls behind their backs. Kindness is a huge deciding factor and it bothers me when girls have nothing nice to say about other girls; just don’t even say it.”

large-3“Frankly, seeing a girl’s presence on social media can be a deal breaker. Personally I’m not about selfies or irrelevant song quotes with pictures. And I cannot stand passive aggressive tweets that are obviously directed at someone.”

“Complaining about texting, i.e. how I don’t text her enough or I didn’t text her first.”

“Girls who are full of themselves.”

“How women clump all men together: they all just want sex.”

“The tendency to get really emotional over things, which overrides their rationality.”

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 What do you wish girls did more of that is considered not the social norm?

“Approach guys.”

“I wish girls were more upfront and didn’t tease.”

“I wish girls would stop pretending that men can read minds.”

“I want girls to feel comfortable enough to come talk or acknowledge my presence. I always have to make the first move. She just needs to be straight up.”

“Wore less make up.”

large-1“More outgoing and didn’t wait to be sought after.”

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“I wish girls played more video games. Obviously it may not be the most fun thing to do, but it is always attractive to see a girl playing your favorite video game.”

“Felt good about themselves! Every girl is beautiful and dope, some are just not to my or someone else’s taste, but that doesn’t truly matter. I also wish girls were more upfront with their feelings about things, which I think all begins with feeling good about yourself. If you are comfortable with yourself you are more likely to be comfortable with your emotions and not feel the need to obscure them with games. Then again, every guy says they don’t want to play games and then they go for the more mysterious girl or something. So it’s a tough balance.”

“Showed their true selves and didn’t hide behind alcohol and material goods.”

How do you feel about girls who are considered promiscuous/easy?

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“I don’t go after them.”

“I am not judgmental”

“It’s normal.”

“It depends. If it’s just a one night stand then yes but if your looking for something serious then no.”

“That’s not attractive to me but I do disagree with the social norm that if a guy gets with a ton girls he’s a man and if a girl gets with a ton of guys she’s a slut. It definitely works both ways.”

“Even though a girl is promiscuous doesn’t mean she isn’t looking for a relationship.”

large-7“Do ya thang girl. No woman should be ashamed for expressing her sexuality.”

“There is a difference between a hoe and a woman who wants to have sex.”

“Girls that are easy… I can be friends with them but I don’t waste my time trying to do more.”

“It’s their choice, they can do what they want. Unless it’s destructive I don’t have a serious problem with it.”

“Not my favorite thing at all. I’m not trying to tame anyone here so I won’t really pay any attention to anyone who is promiscuous.”

“I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me.”

“I feel weird commenting negatively on them because it’s their choice… that being said I think it sucks.”

“I don’t judge either way. Promiscuous or not I go for personalities.”

What is your dream date?

 “Going on a really long bike ride and getting really sweaty. Coming home together. Making dinner together. Showering together. Watching a movie together. And then some PG activities.”

“Dinner and a movie.”

“What makes the date perfect is a combination of the company and the activity planned. I don’t think it’s one specific activity or agenda. You can have perfect dates doing a ton of activities.”

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“First we would have a little adventure (i.e. swimming with sharks, sky diving). After that we go shopping for the both us. Then we eat dinner somewhere that serves really good home cooked food. A five star restaurant does not make a date and people who think that are superficial. After dinner we will relax with some illegal activities. Finally, we watch Finding Nemo and cuddle all night long.”

“Dinner on a yacht and then some PG activities.”

“Any way I can connect with a girl.”

“A night spent on a boat.”

“Hiking and just spending one on one time with her.”

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“A summer night beach date and then some PG activities in the ocean.”

“Skiing and then dinner at a restaurant sitting right on the side of the mountain.”

“Classic: dinner and a movie.”

“A long walk on the beach with a great discussion about life.”

“My dream date would probably be going to a Bruins game and then hanging out.”

How do you feel about being in a relationship during college?

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 “If it’s natural and organic then it’s a wonderful thing.”

“If it’s with the right person than it’s good. If it’s not with the right person than it’s not worth it.”

“I think it’s fine. I was in one. I think there is a right time for it. I believe everyone should experience the feeling of be invincible and it can teach a lot of maturity.”

“I’m in one so it depends on the person. And it also depends if you are on a big or small campus. Huge state schools are definitely harder to keep relationships at.”

“It can be incredibly wonderful and incredibly difficult. I think for the right person, at the right time, it’s the most amazing experience. I do think that I’ve seen people put their relationships before their own personal development. I’d have to be pretty f’in crazy about a girl to put her before things that I needed to do to put myself in a good position when I graduate. Too many of these relationships don’t last beyond college, I would hate to look back at college and feel that I wasted time with a person. Then again, you are also never going to be in the social situation you are in at college so it’s important to be aware and think critically for yourself about your own  needs and desires.”

“Each relationship has pros and cons.”

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“Relationships are cool, so long as you realize that college is short term so that relationship may be short term.”

“I’m 50/50 about it.”

“Some people can handle them and some can’t. Depends on their lifestyle. But you definitely have to be responsible if you are in one, especially with the college culture.”

“It’s no different then being in a relationship in high school.”

“It’s better than hooking up with random people.”

“I feel like being in a relationship in college is too stressful. In my opinion, I would be too busy to manage and establish a healthy relationship. However, for the right person, I would not be opposed.”

How do you feel about the idea of guys hooking up with an abundance of women as being the norm?large-18

“It’s stupid. It’s the lack of not wanting any type of relationship.”

“It’s an unfortunate norm. Especially when it’s under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I mean everyone is free to do what they want but I think it’s an unfortunate culture.”

“Non-judgmental.”

“I don’t think it should be the norm. I personally don’t think that has anything to do with your masculinity. But I understand the idea and it’s occurrence doesn’t bother me.”

“It’s more normal for athletes to do that.”

“I don’t care because I feel like people should hook up with whoever they want too. If YOU’RE comfortable with somebody then BE comfortable with somebody.”

“I find it a bit weird that a guy can hookup with lots of women and it’s cool, but the opposite is true for women. I’m not really one to judge, women can do what they want but I wish the stereotype wasn’t so prevalent.”

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“Personally, I don’t care too much. It is sad that that may be the norm, but I’m not going to judge anyone who wants to have a good time, male or female.”

“I don’t think guys plan on just going out every night and looking for another random girl to hook up with, usually it’s a mutual thing coming from men and women.”

“It’s weird. From a guy’s point of view, I guess it’s not really that big of a deal. I wouldn’t judge someone for it.”

“It’s how society is.”

“I have no feelings towards it. Everyone is free to do what they want.”large-17

“I have no problem with it…but if he is breaking hearts or being dishonest then it’s messed up. But if he is upfront about his desire to have fun, and that is mutually understood, then it’s fine. I don’t think there should be the double standard that is present—if a dude wants to get around and be dapped up for it, girls should be afforded that same treatment.”

How do you feel about your own weight/appearance?

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“I’m a little OCD about my image but it’s also because I’m an athlete. I am always surrounded by people who are in great shape so I am self-conscious about it.”

“As an athlete, if your team is in really good shape you don’t want to be that guy who is not in shape. So I focus on that.”

“I mean the whole mentality of looking in the mirror and never seeing what you want to see is something I completely understand. I find myself looking in the mirror all the time. And I don’t think that it’s that uncommon within men to do that, no matter how much they don’t want to admit it. Girls are just more open about it.”

“I’m working on my body right now. April 14th I am putting a mandatory no shirt policy on myself. How I appear to someone else is the absolute least of my concerns.”

large-4“Fine, although I know I’m out of shape right now. I was hurt and couldn’t run so that will change.”

“I care about my appearance. I pay attention to it but I don’t obsess over it.”

“I feel good about myself.”

“I need to workout. I don’t have any body image issues — I look fine. I am ok with my appearance and my whole thing. One thing that was thankfully instilled into me at a young age, is that your appearance and how you treat it is a language in itself. Whether or not it’s the way things should be, people will judge you solely based on how you present yourself, so I try to heed that idea everyday.”

“I feel pretty good about it. It’s impossible to not to compare yourself to someone and when you get caught doing it that’s when you get self-conscious. When I find the mindset of not caring that’s when I feel best. ”

“I feel good but improvements can always be made.”

“Contempt. Obviously I’m trying to put on weight and get more attractive.”

“I am okay with it but I always feel as though I can do better. I used to be overweight when I was younger.”

“I care about my weight and appearance because 1. I am an athlete. 2. It can help alleviate stress, since it’s one less thing you have to worry about, if you are okay with your body.”

“I am 100% comfortable with my own weight and appearance. I only wish I was little taller.”

 

Comments on Survey:

“There are seven billion people in this world, there’s someone out there for everyone.”

“All I need is my hand.”

“This was awesome. Never been asked these questions.”

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What Do You Think: 

Were you surprised by these responses? How do you feel about these particular stereotypes and gender social norms?

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2 Comments
  1. lauren lauren says:

    i thought that it was interesting how many of the guys opinions were much different then most girls assume. Most girls especially ones who have been hurt tend to group all guys in the same category and totally shut them out. I think girls need to take the time to actually get to know a guy before they judge them and stop shutting every guy out.

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