The Truth: College Relationships

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The Truth About College Relationships

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Every College Girl has watched countless of friends go through numerous makeups and breakups. Or has experienced a best friend celebrate her 2-year anniversary with her boyfriend who goes to another school. Or how about listening to your roommate Skype with his girlfriend every night. Ever wonder why they do it? Well Every College Girl wanted to find out answers. We took the liberty of asking college students (male and female), who are currently in or who have been in a long-term relationship during these college days, some lingering questions that us single folk don’t seem to understand. We wanted to uncover whether the heartaches are worth it or if these relationships take away from the college experience. Take a read and let us know what you think!!

Why Did You Decide To Be In A Relationship During College?

-       We were friends for a really long time. We had been fighting the idea of being in a relationship, but ultimately we gave in to the opportunity.

-       He has been my best friend for five years. Seemed natural to date.

-       I didn’t decide. We liked each other and it kind of just happened.

-       It seemed natural because we started out as friends. We met at a frat party even though he doesn’t go to my school.

-       I’m in love.

-       It just happened, it wasn’t planned; I got to college thinking I would leave him behind with a fresh start, but I was wrong and at the same time, very grateful.

-       We started out as friends and then realized we didn’t want to be with anyone else.

-       I really liked the girl who I had been hooking up with and I wanted to make it exclusive.large-7

-       It was more fulfilling then random hookups.

-      It’s a helpful experience in terms of discovering how compatible you can be with another person.

-       I met my current boyfriend and really liked him. We didn’t want to see anybody else so we decided to be exclusive.

-       I was honestly lonely and away from home. It was really nice to have someone around of the opposite sex.

-       I went into college with a boyfriend. He was older than me and the long distance was working out while he was at school so we stayed together when I went away too.

-       I like her.

-       We started dating in high school and we both made it work once in college so I didn’t see why I should leave him.

-       It’s not so much that I chose to be in a “college relationship” … I chose to be in a relationship with him because we just work so well together. Although there are things about being in a relationship in college that are a little inconvenient (in terms of coordinating our schedules and splitting our time between our friends and with each other), he’s my best friend, and beyond it’s worth it.

How Has The Relationship Affected Your Social Life?

-       At first, it made my social life more exciting because I got to meet all his friends and introduce him to my friends. However, it got old and the excitement stopped. It didn’t really help or weaken my social life.

-       Negatively… I have a little bit of social life.

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-       I am definitely in the city a lot more because he goes to a city school. I have good balance.

-       I still go out and do my own thing; just at the night I have somewhere to come back to.

-       Decreased it.

-      Not really.

-       It hasn’t affected my social life because she’s good friends with all of my friends and vice versa so it hasn’t taken away from my social life.

-       I have twice as many friends. I know all his friends and he knows most of mine. I don’t go out as much anymore, but that is a result of school and work, not my relationship.

-       He wasn’t here so it didn’t really affect my social life at all. When guys hit on me, I just made sure they didn’t get the wrong idea.

-       My social life freshman year was all about hanging with the team and now I balance the two and find the happy medium. If we were not dating I would probably be a little closer with a few more of the guys.

-       I didn’t think it affected my social life very much because he was gone most weekends so I spent time with my friends. It did effect them towards the end when I was always in a bad mood and took it out on my friends.

-       Positively because I am not in the hookup scene anymore. I am never bored and always have something fun to do and someone fun to do it with!

-       I no longer go out to parties. Boyfriend is kind of protective.

-       I was so excited to be with him, my first boyfriend, than we kind of ended up living together and neglecting some of our other relationships. Eventually, however, we realized how important maintaining a good friend/relationship balance was for both of us. So now we spend a bit less time together, and more time with our friends, and we’re both a lot happier as a result.

-       Instead of going home with my friends or ordering cheap Asian food, I would go with my partner and have an adult sleepover.

-       Being with him made my social life better. I could also rely on him to be the designated driver.

-       Dating this person made me gain a lot of friends actually. It put me in a different social group and allowed me to expand my friendship horizons.

-       I go out more often because I know I’ll be having a good time.

-       Honestly I felt like I was more social because I would go out to socialize and hangout rather than find a boy to go home with.

Are You Facebook Official?

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-       No.

-       We were Facebook official.

-       Yes, we are Facebook official but only a select number of people can view it. Frankly I get annoyed of people knowing about my life.

-       No.

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-       Yes.

-       Yes.

-       We aren’t Facebook official because neither of us believe in that but both of us just have hidden/private relationship statuses.

-       Yes.

-       We were.

-      No.

-       F**k yes.

-       Never have been. Never will be. I used to care but grew up and realized that Facebook doesn’t determine an official relationship.

-       We were.

-       Yes.

-       Yes, we are Facebook official. Quite frankly, I find it annoying when people don’t want to be “Facebook official” to separate their “public” and private lives. If you’re with someone, you should be proud to be with them and WANT to show them off to the world.

How Often Do You Fight With Your Significant Other? 

-       We rarely ever fought, only once when we were both ridiculously drunk and said stupid things to each other.

-       We don’t fight very often, here and there but mostly small stuff. It has been tough because I’m abroad so that has caused some fights but other than that its been great.large-4

-       More than I want, once or twice a week but they are petty and easily resolved.

-       We don’t fight that much, we usually talk things out. We will go for a pretty long time without fighting and then we might get into a big fight, something that doesn’t even matter in the end. But we always just talk it out and everything is fine.

-       We never really fought, but only because I was really easygoing. There were plenty of things I could have handled differently.

-       Rarely.

-       We never fought, we would have discussions about how he was acting but there were never any disagreements about the problems we had. We both knew what was wrong but neither of us could fix it. We would never raise our voices to each other or anything.

-       Once a week… never any big fights.

-       Very rarely that is probably why we were able to date through college. We are pretty similar so the arguments, if there are any, didn’t last long.

-       From time to time but it was mostly just miscommunication because we weren’t physically together.

-       Once every 28 days.

-       We never fight.

-       Once a month. Fights are never serious. Hardly an issue

-       We argue about everything. We’re competitive and we both think we are always right.  But it keeps things interesting and fun. How often do we really fight? Only when he does stupid things that make me mad.  That only happens every few months though.

-       Really bad fights usually only happen during my PMS! But we probably have little arguments/disagreements/miscommunications here and there every other day or so.

large-1-       We live together so we fight/have tiffs like once a week.

-       We were in the honeymoon stage for honestly 4 months but then it got sour and we started fighting at least once a week.

 

How Have Your Friends Reacted To Your Relationship?

 -       Our friends knew we were going to be together before we did. So you could say they were okay with it.

-       Supportive.

-       They think I’m insane.

-       They are happy when I’m happy. They aren’t very vocal about it but they definitely support my decision.

large-8-       Some of my friends thought he was too old for me (8 ½ years) but most of them once they got to know him really liked him and think that we are great together. Some of my guy friends will even call him to hang out before they call me!

-       They are happy for me but I think they judge sometimes because the relationship happened so quickly.

-       My friends like him.

-       They hang out with us. They’re okay with my significant other tagging along.

-       My friends have basically accepted him into our “group” and he has become a friend to them as well.

-       Approved.

-       They do not know feel any different really. It helps that she is pretty likeable.

-       My friends were supportive of my relationship until it started to make me unhappy. Then, they didn’t want to see me being held back by a guy that did not make me feel great.

-       In the beginning, they were pissed because they thought I was ditching them (which I sometimes was). However, they think we’re a great couple, and my boyfriend is literally the sweetest guy on the planet.

-       My friends like my girlfriend a lot so they accepted her pretty quickly. Some of my close friends give me shit about having a girlfriend but in reality they don’t mind.

-       Positive and supportive.

-       I never hung out with him and my friends because they didn’t really seem to like him and he got really uncomfortable around them. I found out after we broke up that most of them hated him.

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-       My friends have reacted well to my relationship because my boyfriend makes an effort to get to know them/hang out with them. He’s fun to be around so they like him!

-       It depends on the timing and what happens in our relationship.  We’re in college and things aren’t always perfect, so my friends react based on my mood.  When things are bad, they hate him. When things are good, they love him.

-       We bicker often over stupid stuff, like me taking way too long to get ready. But very rarely do we have serious fights.

How Is The Single Life Compared To Taken Life? 

 

-       I hate the single life, but maybe that’s just me.  Our relationship has always valued freedom. I don’t feel squashed or limited.  I’m respectful of my relationship but without explicit direction.  So I don’t feel very different when I’m single, just more alone.

-       Single life was more exciting.

-       Single life sucks except there’s more free time.

-       Two different worlds.

-      They both have their perks.

-       I personally love having a boyfriend because we just click. I like being there for him.

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- We got together so soon after I started college, I feel that I could be missing out on part of the college experience, single life. But then I think about who I get to wake up to in the morning and how so many people want what I think I found so early… I definitely think that’s better than the walk of shame or meaningless hookups.

-       They both have their ups and downs. Obviously more freedom with the single life, but there’s something nice about having a significant other who cares about you and you share that connection.

large-       I enjoy the single life, buts it’s nice to have someone who’s always there.

-       Being taken is amazing. Wouldn’t go back.

-       The taken life is way better than the single life because I know I gotta good thang and don’t have to worry about where my next smang is coming from (ayyyy).

-       Single life is pretty rough but this is just because I really like being in relationships.

-       Single life is crazier; fewer thoughts are put into my actions. Usually when I am in a relationship, when it’s with the right person, I am happier.

-       The single life is not fun at my school.

-       SINGLE LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER! You only have to worry about yourself. You do not have to make every decision with someone else in mind, and then get upset when they do not do the same for you. You have NO WORRIES about who you talk to and when. It just keeps you open to opportunities that you might not take if you were taken.

-       The single life can be a bit more adventure-filled. A lot of my single friends take it for granted. They have so much freedom to literally do anything with anyone they want, at any time. However, that’s not to say the taken life is bad at all. If you and your significant other make an effort to go out and do cool things together, and try new stuff, then it’s awesome.

-       My single life is not very different except for the fact that I talk more with other guys but it’s not a dramatic difference at all.large-11

-       We have been dating almost 6 years now so my “single” life has been pretty short. But as far as my relationship goes I prefer the “taken” life. Less to worry about (like dating, or finding the right guy), always someone to talk to/support you or call you out on acting stupid. I can expect an honest answer even if I don’t like it. Being single for me can be too crazy.

-       I have more free time to myself and spend more time with friends.

What Is The Worst Part About The Relationship? 

-       Knowing it had a time limit (we were going in separate directions).

-       He likes spicy food and I don’t.

-      Trying to find a balance.

-       Sometimes you may have to do things you don’t want to do but it makes your significant other happy so you do it.

-       Spending money.

-       That I don’t see him every weekend because of work.

-       It takes up a lot of time and I am always busy.

-       Putting in a lot more than you get from that person and the relationship. It can be exhausting.

-       Having to be apart for 4 months because I’m abroad.

-       Having to work around both of our schedules to make time for each other. It was really stressful trying to figure it out and it always felt like one person was giving up something else to see the other person.

-       Not having the good side of the bed, also I’m always the one that has to drive on road trips while he naps.

-       Simply timing. We’re young. We’re in college. We’re constantly tempted, constantly intoxicated. It definitely complicates things and leads to arguments, and ultimately a lack of trust.  Trying to be in a relationship in your early 20′s is NEVER easy.

-       Not being single… having to ask someone permission out of respect. Not being able to make all the decisions on your own or do whatever you want. Sometimes you just have to go to his Grandma’s birthday party even if you don’t want too.

-        The boringness of his friend group combined with the lameness of my school. It honestly ruined our relationship.

-       Having to share a twin sized bed.

-       Our bickering. We know each other so well that sometimes we act impulsively and do/say stupid things, because we’re so comfortable with each other that we don’t hold back or restrain ourselves, even at times when we should.

-       Long distance.large-5

What Was The Best Part About The Relationship? 

-       It was the most fulfilling relationship I ever had (that says a lot because I have been in many relationships).

-       Her sleeping over.

-       Him being my best friend. Getting engaged soon.

-      Self discovery. I learned a lot about myself being with her.

-       Having someone around who is always honest and consistent.

-       Being with the person.

-       The fact that he goes to a city school, I frequently go into the city.

-       Having someone who truly cares about me.

-       The feeling of truly connecting with someone on a deeper level.

-       Having an excuse to hang out with my really hot best friend all the time!! And an off campus queen size bed to snooze in whenever I want.

-       Having the ability to connect with him on an extremely intimate and personal level. I still consider him my friend. I don’t think it’s possible for us not to be close. Sex everyday was cool too.

-       Having a best friend.

-       Getting to know her more and more and seeing how I’ve changed for the better while in the relationship.

-       I get to hang out with my best friend all the time and snuggle.

-       The support we provide for each other. I’m fiercely protective over him, and he thinks the world of me, and reminds me how great he thinks I am when I’m feeling stressed and not so good about myself. The fact that he believes in me makes me feel like I can do anything, and a lot more confident in myself.

-       Being best friends and liking to sleep with each other and nobody else.  We go through everything together, the ups and the downs. The bad times make the good times that much better.

-       Having someone after so long that loves me for me.

-       Him. I really liked him and it didn’t matter that long distance was hard. All that mattered was that we were together.

-       Always having someone look after you, even if you’re out without him.

-       Having someone to talk too. Part of having a boyfriend is being able to share your emotional burdens, when that’s gone you have to face everything alone. It is really nice to look at your phone and always see a text. Also, sex is a fantastic stress reliever.

How Was The Break Up?large-6

-       The break up sucked. Still sucks.

-       It was more of a see you later rather then a break up. It was sad but we knew we would see each other in the future, whether as friends or something more.

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-       Which time? The break ups are awful. Especially at a small school, when you see people that you don’t want to see literally everywhere… it’s never fun. But the smallness of my school also means that break ups, generally speaking, don’t last long unless you have a crazy amount of will power.

-      The break up was hard and still isn’t really over I guess.

-      The breakup was difficult, not because I wanted to be with him anymore, because I didn’t. I all of a sudden felt very alone. I didn’t miss him as much as I missed being in a relationship.

-       The break up was pretty simple. Not complex. I didn’t stand for dishonesty, and he couldn’t confront the deeper issues. Once everything was finally in the open it was pretty much done. We didn’t speak after to make sure there wasn’t any confusion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There you have it! Real answers from current, authentic relationships. Thank you to all that participated! I hope this was an eye opener to you single stallions on whether your bf is crazy for staying in all the time or she may have found something real. So whether you are in, have been in, or cannot fathom the thought of being in one; college relationships are very relevant and can either make or break you (or your best friend). The real question is knowing if the relationship is truly worth the time or just an excuse to not be alone. These participants knew what they wanted or what they continue to have, do you? Thanks for reading and look forward to the comments!

What Do You Think: 

Can you relate to these answers? What did you think about this survey?

 

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2 Comments
  1. zoe zoe says:

    awesome survey

  2. Jeremy Jeremy says:

    Really fascinating stuff … seems like the start of a relationship is either up to serendipity or not being afraid of hanging out in the friend zone for awhile. Putting yourself out there and being patient: they pay off in dividends!

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